Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
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