just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
