Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
