In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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