Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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