Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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