Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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