I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Is Oprah even human
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize