these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just found puke in my bra..
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
