so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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