i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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