Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
