There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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