I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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