1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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