Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
