need another drink. this is the easiest way
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
