Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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