I'm gonna have a badass scar
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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