bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
