do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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