We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We're facebook friends in real life
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
