I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
