His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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