These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
