There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
