everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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