okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
