let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
