It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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