Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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