I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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