i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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