So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
worst night to have a conscience
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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