In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
