Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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