Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
