She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
