I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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