I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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