Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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