we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
