I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
