he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Can I color on your dick again?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
