just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
