Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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