Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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