Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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