i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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