he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
