Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
