you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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