My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
